peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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