i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
