we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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