i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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