Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
