I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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