I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no you cant smoke seaweed
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
