You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
