Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
