I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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