gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
