oh god the rape fog is back!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
