Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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