this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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