32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Randomize
