One girl and one boy is just not enough.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
