you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
sex in a hospital.. check
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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