dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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