on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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