I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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