I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
