Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize