I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
