Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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