this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
