we have officially lost it.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize