i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
