If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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