just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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