4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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