8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
