I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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