you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
