i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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