I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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