i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my shit smells like andre
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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