You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
