I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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