is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
