I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
