I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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