he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
