Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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