In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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