I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
