i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize