Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
