i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
