I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Someone came in the potted fern
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
