dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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