I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
