can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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