It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize