And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
