Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize