How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
