I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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