i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
