I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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