he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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