I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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