im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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