I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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