Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
